Posted: June 3rd, 2012 | Comments Off
Hobbes puts out a record form the cover. Calvin is in his pyjamas and puts on fancy sun glasses. They switch on the stereo and dance to the music. 
Calvin and Hobbes continue to dance. His parents wake up. Mom can’t believe what’s happening. Dad is mad. Either he’s playing classical music at 78 RMP, or I’m still dreaming. First thing tomorrow morning, I’m calling the orphanage
Posted: June 3rd, 2012 | Comments Off
Hmm… For THIS patient, I’m going to need more tongue depressors.All right, what’s wrong with you? … like I care. My foot hurts, Doctor. Your FOOT hurts? What kind of a stupid problem is THAT?! You’re the doctor! You’re supposed to find out what’s wrong with it. It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a doctor. A LOBOTOMY?! That’s not what a REAL doctor would say! Yeah? Who’s wearing the stethescope, you or me? Here’s a mallet. Do you want anesthesia? Wh… that’s to test REFLEXES! Y-you don’t know ANYTHING! How about a SHOT then? Like a shot in the mouth? That does it! I know more about medicine than you! I’ll be the doctor now! Ow! Ow! Quit kicking! See, that’s why your dumb foot hurts! Stop it! Say it! Say I’m the doctor! OK, you’re the doctor! But I’m not going to be any patient of YOURS! I’m leaving! Fine! Good riddance! You ruin everything! The surgeon general should issue a warning about playing with girls. I’D be Susie’s patient! A doctor talks to his patient. The patient’s foot hurts. The doctor suggests a lot of crazy stuff. The patient gets really angry and suggests she will be doctor now. In the end, the patient kicks the doctor. Calvin and Susie fight as Calvin quits the game. He and Hobbes sit in front of their home, talking about the incident. While Calvin dislikes girls, Hobbes would love to be one of Susie’s patients.
Posted: June 3rd, 2012 | Comments Off
Archeologists dig slowly and carefully, using small, delicate tools. Each rock has to be painstakingly brushed and scraped so nothing is broken or missed. DIG DIG SCRAPE SCRAPE BRUSH BRUSH Archeologists have the most mind-numbing job on the planet. I don’t think your Dad will want to shave with this tomorrow. Calvin and Hobbes play outside. The game is archaeology, so Calvin wears a explorer hat. They dig for bones. Calvin explains that you have to be very careful. He soon gets frustrated since he doesn’t have success and it takes him forever. Hobbes asks if his Dad will be happy if they use something he uses every morning to dig. 
Hey, look! I hit something! Don’t break it! Dig carefully! Gosh, what do you suppose it is? Dust it off so we can see. It’s some bizarre skull. Look at its mouth. Maybe it’s a prehistoric anteater. Finally, Calvin finds something and tells Hobbes. Hobbes tells him to watch out with the new found piece. After dusting it off, it’s clear that it’s a water bottle. Calvin and Hobbes though are sure it’s a very old skeleton of a dinosaur. 
Wow! I can’t believe we found a dinosaur skull on our very first archealogical dig. It’s completely intact, too! What a discovery! Maybe the rest of the skeleton is nearby! Yeah! If we can find the whole thing, we’ll be world famous! With the grant money we’ll get, we can buy a Porsche! How will THIS look on the cover of National Geographic? Calvin hold the new found item in both hands and is thrilled. He wants to buy a Porsche together with Hobbes who wants to be on the first page of famous magazines.
I found another bone! I found another bone! Boy, this is a weird one. What is it? It could be a forearm and fingers. I can’t wait to see what the complete Calvinosaur looks like. I didn’t know bones came in decorator colors, did you? Calvin and Hobbes continue to dig and find a plastic fork. However, they think it’s another bone of Calvinosaur. Hobbes is surprised by it’s weird color. 
Gosh, look at all the dinosaur bones we discovered. Let’s glue them together so we can see how they fit. Then you can draw a reconstruction of the actual dinosaur. After that, we’ll write up our findings, and get them published in a scientific journal. Then we’ll win the Nobel prize, get righ, and go on talk shows. What about babes? When do we get those? Calvin and Hobbes look at all their discoveries. It’s a pile of garbage. They plan on getting all bones together and dream of world fame. 
Well. Here’s the complete skeleton as near as I can figure out. Try to draw the dinosaur as it really looked with muscles and skin. What’s it doing? Whistling? You tell me. Maybe it’s puckering up. Calvin built a figure from the trash he found in the yard. He tells Hobbes to create a draft how the fierce animal might have looked. Hobbes draws it and they both wonder what it does. 
Mom says she doesn’t think we’ve found a skeleton at all. She says we just dug up some trash somebody littered. Our dinosaur is a fraud. I guess it wouldn’t be right to sell it to a museum then. Not at full price, anyway. Calvin is upset since Mom told him the Calvinosaur is just garbage. Hobbes says it wouldn’t be fair to sell it then. Calvin says that the full price wouldn’t be fair. I love how the Calvinosaur looks (Hobbes’ picture).
Posted: June 2nd, 2012 | Comments Off
Calvin the elephant wanders the African plain. At five tons, he is the largest land animal! His deafening call shatters the early morning tranquility! A giant elephants walks in Africa. It prepares for a very loud wake up call. Next, Calvin kneels in his parents’ bed and is about to blow a trumpet really loud to wake them.Why are children and old people always awake at 6 a.m.?
Posted: June 2nd, 2012 | Comments Off
We’re endangered? It says tigers nearly faced extinction and their future remains in doubt. That’s awful. I’ll say. No offense, but I think I’ll go back to being a kid again. This explains why I don’t meet many babes. Tiger Calvin asks Hobbes if tigers are really endangered. Hobbes is shocked by the fact that tigers are almost gone from this planet. Under these circumstances, Calvin prefers to be a human boy. Hobbes realizes that this might be the reason why he doesn’t see a lot of females.No tiger females for Hobbes.
Posted: June 2nd, 2012 | Comments Off
I’m home! Pow! Gald to see me?? What I would give to be a latchkey kid. Calvin gets off the school bus and enters his home. He lets the house know he’s back. Hobbes jumps right at him and Calvin is tossed against a tree. Lying upside down, he wishes to be a latchkey kid. 
I’m home! Wham! You’ll notice I didn’t say I was inside. Calvin returns from school and stops in front of the door. He yells “I’m home”. Next, you can hear a loud WHAM. Calvin opens the door to find Hobbes holding his head since it hurts. Calvin explains that a little detail made Hobbes suffer. Here we can see common pet behavior.
Posted: May 28th, 2012 | Comments Off
Bath time, Calvin! Come on, let’s just get it over with this time all right? Where are you? Let’s go! She’ll never look here. Calvin gets scared when he hears his Mom yelling that it’s bath time. His Mom looks for him in the living room and even down in the basement. She can’t find him. Calvin hides in the empty bath tub wearing all his clothes and is kind of proud of his secret place. Fun doesn’t know limits when you’re wearing clothes in an empty bath tub.
Hey, Calvin! Guess what time it is! Why? What time is it? It’s a very special time! Oh boy, oh boy! What time is it? Do you really want to know? Yes, yes! Tell me! Tell me! Quick! Please! Yes! It’s your bath time! Oh boy! You know how old people always write to Dear Abby, complaining that their kids never write, call or visit? Those letters really crack me up. Calvin’s Dad bends down to Calvin to tell him that it’s a very special time. Calvin gets more and more curious the more his Dad makes a secret of this time. In the end Calvin’s Dad reveals that it is bath time. Calvin sits in the bath tub with Hobbes next to him and complaints how terrible his Dad is.
Posted: May 28th, 2012 | Comments Off
Here’s a box of crayons. I need some illustrations for a story I’m writing. You can draw something besides tigers, can’t you? Sure. Leopards, pumas, ocelots … you name it. Here dad, read this story tonight. I wrote it and Hobbes illustrated it. Um, ok. The dad who lived to regret being mean to his kid. What are you pausing for? Keep reading. Barney’s dad was really bad, so Barney hatched a plan. When his dad said “”Eat your peas!”" Barney shouted “”No!”" and ran. Barney tricked his mean ol’ dad. And locked him in the cellar. His mom never found out where he’d gone. ‘Cause Barney didn’t tell her. There his dad spent his life. Eating mice and gruel. With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he’d been cruel. The end. You know how a lot of stories have morals to them? I get it, I get it! Calvin asks Hobbes if he can support him by drawing the illustrations for a story of his. Calvin wants to know if Hobbes can draw anything but tigers. Hobbes is proud to tell that he can also draw leopards, pumas and ocelots very well. Calvin wants his Dad to tell him a story he created as a good night story. Calvin’s Dad agrees. Calvin’s Dad is a little irritated by the title of the story: “The dad who lived to regret being mean to his kid”. Calvin says he should go ahead. The hero in the story, Barney, doesn’t obey his Dad and spills peas all over the floor. Barney locked himself in the cellar to teach his Dad a lesson. Barney’s Dad has to eat mice and feels really sorry. Calvin points out that there might be some kind of morale in this story. Calvin’s Dad understands it and is mad.
Posted: May 28th, 2012 | Comments Off
It snowed last night! Turn on the radio! Maybe they closed school! Maybe the school buses all froze up! Maybe the principal can’t get out of his driveway! Get dressed, Calvin. It only snowed an inch. Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. Calvin is happy about all the snow of last night. He hopes the school will be closed as he looks out of the window. Full of great expectations, he hurries into the kitchen. His Mom calms him down by saying there’s only an inch of snow. Calvin walks frustrated to the bus.What if somewhere there is a guy who says: “Winning 10 cents in the lottery is like getting an inch of snow” while we read this?