Calvin is Spaceman Spiff and Fights Evil Monsters
Posted: March 6th, 2012 | No Comments »
A dreaded Naggon mother ship fires a bolt of deadly destructo ray that sends a small, red
spacecraft reeling towards an unknown planet! Inside that spacecraft is our hero, the intrepid…INTERPLANETARY EXPLORER EXTRAORDINAIRE SPACEMAN SPIFF Calvin gets tossed out of the house by his mother. In his mind, he’s moving towards a desert planet in a space ship.
Our hero wrestles the controls, but the altituditron refuses to respond!
With ever increasing velocity, Spiff roars to his doom! Spaceman Spiff flys through an arch of a desert planet.
Spiff’s only hope is to attempt a thousand mile-an-hour landing! Our hero lowers the landing gear and levels out! WILL HE MAKE IT?? Spaceman Spiff’s spaceship is getting closer to the ground and Spiff’s face is looking straining.
hmph.YES! The incredible Spaceman Spiff survives! Dazed, but unhurt, our hero crawls from the smoldering
wreckage! Spiff sets off across the planet surface. An ominous, shadowy figure flits across a nearby hilltop!
An alien! Our hero darts behind a rock and sets his zorcher on “shake and bake.” The alien approaches!
Hi Calvin! I see you, so you can stop hiding now! Are you playing cowboys or something? Can I
play too? Calvin dusts himself off after landing on the ground. In his fantasy, he’s stepping outside the spaceship and wandering through the empty planet. He sees an alien and gets his gun ready. Susie talks to him.
It’s a loathesome bat-webbed booger being… A repulsive leech-like creature that attaches itself
to you and never lets you alone until you’re dead!!
Our hero springs into action! KISS YOUR PROTONS GOODBYE, BOOGER BEING!!
Spiff fires repeatedly… But to his great surprise and horror, the zorch charge is absorbed by the
booger being with no ill effect! Instead, the monster only becomes angry! Spaceman Spiff sees a three eyed monster approaching. It makes weird noises. Desperately, he shoots.
Why’d you do THAT, you mean little creep?!? I’m telling your mom!! uh oh.
ZOUNDS! The booger being is in alliance with the naggon mother ship that shot spiff down in the
first place! Our hero opts for a speedy getaway!
At the booger being’s distress signal, a gigantic naggon materializes on the planet surface! Susie shouts that she will tell Calvin’s mom. Calvin gets worried. Calvin’s mom looks tense as Susie tells her what happened. Calvin escapes.
With a ground-shaking lunge, the naggon is after Spaceman Spiff! Spaceman Spiff runs away from a huge alien monster with frightning teeth and scary thin hands. The red eyes glow.
Ha ha! Death to naggons! Calvin, don’t you dare throw that..
The monster is only stunned! Spiff quickly tries to arm another bomb!
It’s too late! The naggon has him! What will happen NOW?? In real life, Calvin tosses a water bomb at his approaching mother. His mother warns him, then becomes very angry as she is all wet from the water bomb. In Calvin’s mind, the monster catches Spaceman Spiff with his claw.
< Hi honey, I’m home! Boy, what a day at the off….Uh, what’s with the towels… Or don’t I want to know? Your son is in his room, waiting for you to have a talk with him.In the smelly, gloomy dungeon, Spaceman Spiff prepares a cunning trap for the approaching naggon king! the end. Soon our fearless hero will be free again! Calvin’s dad let his wife know he’s back home. He’s puzzled on Calvin’s mother’s look: She has a towel around her and tells him that Calvin and his dad should talk. Calvin waits in his dirty room with a water bucket above the door so Calvin’s dad will be the next to get wet.
The END.